jdettmannApr 10, 20173 minHow to Make Terrible GnocchiThe pesto would have been better tossed with small snails than with the gnocchi I made. I know I have a tendency to toot my own horn on...
jdettmannMar 29, 20173 minJackhammers, InterruptedI, sadly not a celestial being, had to remain here on the earth that quaked every day for eight or nine hours as the diggers ripped...
jdettmannMar 7, 20173 minThe Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling MadMy children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
jdettmannFeb 22, 20174 minContact HighThat, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
jdettmannJan 12, 20173 minTWELVE Days of Christmas? Not On My WatchProper homemade gingerbread house that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Grandmothers are where it’s at. Good New Year to you, dear...
jdettmannOct 25, 20164 minThe Man Who Had No BirthdaysSomeone’s kid has an extendable arm that only comes out when there’s a chocolate fountain. Handy. May Blossom turned six on the weekend...
jdettmannSep 1, 20162 minThe Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My ChildrenFestival of Dangerous Ideas kicks off. My parents are going to heaps of things at this festival, including Alexei Sayle’s talk ‘Thatcher...
jdettmannAug 25, 20165 minArea of Particular InterestThat aside, we are really very extremely excited. We are going to Finland, Sweden and Denmark. The trip has come about because Jess is a...
jdettmannAug 11, 20163 minOlympics Para SiempreWe are disgraceful: this was one of only two photos we have of anyone in this family doing anything even vaguely athletic, while also not...
jdettmannApr 27, 20165 minNothing Is Fun For The Whole FamilyThis seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
jdettmannMar 29, 20163 minThe Longest WeekendPoor little kid. She and her brother are so prone to ear infections and croup. They just have tiny little respiratory tracts and...
jdettmannFeb 15, 20163 minI Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At SchoolGarnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...
jdettmannFeb 5, 20162 min7 Reasons My Five Year Old Shouldn’t Have to Go to School, According to Her I have already been to school. For five whole days. What do you mean, five days isn’t enough? How long is this ridiculousness supposed to...
jdettmannJan 29, 20163 minThe First Rule of the Best Start Interview is Don’t Talk About the Best Start InterviewI was hoping the test hadn’t started yet. May Blossom has just been for her pre-starting-school chat with a kindy teacher, which is...
jdettmannDec 20, 20153 minLife’s A TreatLast week Garnet turned three. He’s not a hundred per cent ok with that. The boy has a complicated relationship with the ageing process....
jdettmannNov 16, 20153 minIgnorance Is BlissApocalypse now, or have we time for another coffee before the end of days? ‘Why do I still have to go to kindy?’ May Blossom moaned to...
jdettmannOct 19, 20154 minA Very Peter Pan BirthdayThree weeks out she started saying, ‘I don’t want to hear it’s anyone else’s birthday before mine.’ Now we’re down to four days and she...
jdettmannOct 14, 20153 minMy Head Is A Compost BinHiding in the corner, not doing its job well. Come on, compost bin, lean in. Hello! Well, Mental Health Week came and went last week, and...
jdettmannJun 11, 20154 minTough LoveThis morning, as I prepared the third course of May Blossom and Garnet’s breakfast, I began to think they were a bit spoiled. After they...
jdettmannApr 17, 20152 minThe Mysterious Chocolate Cookies of MiseryI made the cookies using an amalgamation of recipes on the internet, which I found by googling ‘cacao almond cookies’. They all contained...