Jessica Dettmann

JESSICA DETTMANN

  • HOME

  • ABOUT

  • BOOKS

  • MEDIA

  • EVENTS

  • CONTACT

  • BLOG: Life With Gusto

  • More

    Use tab to navigate through the menu items.
    • All Posts
    • 101 Uses for an English degree
    • Accidents
    • Awful things
    • Advice
    • anxiety
    • Babies
    • Bags
    • Beauty
    • Blogging
    • Birth
    • Birthdays
    • Bread Loaf School of English
    • Books
    • Breastfeeding
    • Bright sides
    • Children's books
    • Cake
    • Comedy
    • Christmas
    • Cooking
    • Cleaning
    • Craft
    • Crimes
    • Discipline
    • Daycare
    • Death
    • Dreadful puns
    • Drinks
    • exercise
    • Fashion
    Search
    How to Make Terrible Gnocchi
    jdettmann
    • Apr 10, 2017
    • 3 min

    How to Make Terrible Gnocchi

    The pesto would have been better tossed with small snails than with the gnocchi I made. I know I have a tendency to toot my own horn on...
    8 views0 comments
    Jackhammers, Interrupted
    jdettmann
    • Mar 29, 2017
    • 3 min

    Jackhammers, Interrupted

    I, sadly not a celestial being, had to remain here on the earth that quaked every day for eight or nine hours as the diggers ripped...
    0 views0 comments
    The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad
    jdettmann
    • Mar 7, 2017
    • 3 min

    The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad

    My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
    3 views0 comments
    Contact High
    jdettmann
    • Feb 22, 2017
    • 4 min

    Contact High

    That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
    5 views0 comments
    TWELVE Days of Christmas? Not On My Watch
    jdettmann
    • Jan 12, 2017
    • 3 min

    TWELVE Days of Christmas? Not On My Watch

    Proper homemade gingerbread house that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Grandmothers are where it’s at. Good New Year to you, dear...
    0 views0 comments
    The Man Who Had No Birthdays
    jdettmann
    • Oct 25, 2016
    • 4 min

    The Man Who Had No Birthdays

    Someone’s kid has an extendable arm that only comes out when there’s a chocolate fountain. Handy. May Blossom turned six on the weekend...
    1 view0 comments
    The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My Children
    jdettmann
    • Sep 1, 2016
    • 2 min

    The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My Children

    Festival of Dangerous Ideas kicks off. My parents are going to heaps of things at this festival, including Alexei Sayle’s talk ‘Thatcher...
    2 views0 comments
    Area of Particular Interest
    jdettmann
    • Aug 25, 2016
    • 5 min

    Area of Particular Interest

    That aside, we are really very extremely excited. We are going to Finland, Sweden and Denmark. The trip has come about because Jess is a...
    1 view0 comments
    Olympics Para Siempre
    jdettmann
    • Aug 11, 2016
    • 3 min

    Olympics Para Siempre

    We are disgraceful: this was one of only two photos we have of anyone in this family doing anything even vaguely athletic, while also not...
    0 views0 comments
    Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family
    jdettmann
    • Apr 27, 2016
    • 5 min

    Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family

    This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
    1 view0 comments
    The Longest Weekend
    jdettmann
    • Mar 29, 2016
    • 3 min

    The Longest Weekend

    Poor little kid. She and her brother are so prone to ear infections and croup. They just have tiny little respiratory tracts and...
    2 views0 comments
    I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School
    jdettmann
    • Feb 15, 2016
    • 3 min

    I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School

    Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...
    0 views0 comments
    7 Reasons My Five Year Old Shouldn’t Have to Go to School, According to Her     
    jdettmann
    • Feb 5, 2016
    • 2 min

    7 Reasons My Five Year Old Shouldn’t Have to Go to School, According to Her     

    I have already been to school. For five whole days. What do you mean, five days isn’t enough? How long is this ridiculousness supposed to...
    0 views0 comments
    The First Rule of the Best Start Interview is Don’t Talk About the Best Start Interview
    jdettmann
    • Jan 29, 2016
    • 3 min

    The First Rule of the Best Start Interview is Don’t Talk About the Best Start Interview

    I was hoping the test hadn’t started yet. May Blossom has just been for her pre-starting-school chat with a kindy teacher, which is...
    1 view0 comments
    Life’s A Treat
    jdettmann
    • Dec 20, 2015
    • 3 min

    Life’s A Treat

    Last week Garnet turned three. He’s not a hundred per cent ok with that. The boy has a complicated relationship with the ageing process....
    0 views0 comments
    Ignorance Is Bliss
    jdettmann
    • Nov 16, 2015
    • 3 min

    Ignorance Is Bliss

    Apocalypse now, or have we time for another coffee before the end of days? ‘Why do I still have to go to kindy?’ May Blossom moaned  to...
    2 views0 comments
    A Very Peter Pan Birthday
    jdettmann
    • Oct 19, 2015
    • 4 min

    A Very Peter Pan Birthday

    Three weeks out she started saying, ‘I don’t want to hear it’s anyone else’s birthday before mine.’ Now we’re down to four days and she...
    0 views0 comments
    My Head Is A Compost Bin
    jdettmann
    • Oct 14, 2015
    • 3 min

    My Head Is A Compost Bin

    Hiding in the corner, not doing its job well. Come on, compost bin, lean in. Hello! Well, Mental Health Week came and went last week, and...
    0 views0 comments
    Tough Love
    jdettmann
    • Jun 11, 2015
    • 4 min

    Tough Love

    This morning, as I prepared the third course of May Blossom and Garnet’s breakfast, I began to think they were a bit spoiled. After they...
    0 views0 comments
    The Mysterious Chocolate Cookies of Misery
    jdettmann
    • Apr 17, 2015
    • 2 min

    The Mysterious Chocolate Cookies of Misery

    I made the cookies using an amalgamation of recipes on the internet, which I found by googling ‘cacao almond cookies’. They all contained...
    0 views0 comments
    1
    2345

    ​FOLLOW ME

    • Instagram (where I am most of the time)
    • Facebook Social Icon
    • Twitter Social Icon

    © 2023 by Samanta Jones. Proudly created with Wix.com