Jessica Dettmann

JESSICA DETTMANN

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    A Month
    jdettmann
    • Jan 16, 2013
    • 3 min

    A Month

    Garnet has one elf ear. The other is a human ear. We are unsure what, if anything, to make of this. Garnet’s 24 days old. It’s been a bit...
    0 views0 comments
    This Is Just To Say
    jdettmann
    • Dec 24, 2012
    • 2 min

    This Is Just To Say

    Our little boy was born ten days ago. Sorry it’s taken me so long to put him down and write a post to announce it. But if you smelled his...
    1 view0 comments
    Keep Calm And Carry On Like A Pork Chop
    jdettmann
    • Dec 14, 2012
    • 2 min

    Keep Calm And Carry On Like A Pork Chop

    May Blossom re-enacts what will happen if you don’t shut about about your birth plan while having coffee with friends. My friends Lou and...
    4 views0 comments
    We Sleep The Sleep Of The Furious
    jdettmann
    • Dec 9, 2012
    • 2 min

    We Sleep The Sleep Of The Furious

    Whenever May Blossom wakes up these days, the first thing she says is, in a very irritated tone of voice: ‘I didn’t want to go to sleep.’...
    0 views0 comments
    You Give Me Fever
    jdettmann
    • Dec 4, 2012
    • 1 min

    You Give Me Fever

    In the event of finding yourself over thirty-eight weeks pregnant and suffering from a virus that makes you burn with fever and shake...
    0 views0 comments
    Not What It Looks Like
    jdettmann
    • Nov 30, 2012
    • 2 min

    Not What It Looks Like

    Also not what it looks like: this image of May Blossom checking on her sibling in my tummy illustrates why late pregnancy, maxi-dresses...
    0 views0 comments
    Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
    jdettmann
    • Nov 28, 2012
    • 2 min

    Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

    An optimist is one who happily rides her friend’s bike with no pants on. I am a pessimist. I specialise in negative visualisation. Much...
    1 view0 comments
    My Patience Is The Only Thin Part Of Me
    jdettmann
    • Nov 27, 2012
    • 3 min

    My Patience Is The Only Thin Part Of Me

    But, weirdly enough, it was one of the loveliest nights I can remember. Partly because nights in general, in my opinion, are for sleeping...
    0 views0 comments
    All That Glitters
    jdettmann
    • Nov 25, 2012
    • 1 min

    All That Glitters

    It turned out that the sparkly dress I bought online and wore to the wedding yesterday was just a dress with glitter glued to it. Not...
    0 views0 comments
    Car Seat Shopping For The Hormonally Deranged
    jdettmann
    • Nov 23, 2012
    • 3 min

    Car Seat Shopping For The Hormonally Deranged

    One of the many dangerous roads of the world that are all out to get my children, according to my pregnancy-addled brain. Have you ever...
    4 views0 comments
    If You Can’t Say Something Nice…
    jdettmann
    • Nov 19, 2012
    • 2 min

    If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

    Today nearly slipped by without a blog. Today was hard. Physically I feel like crap right now and trying to be funny feels forced. So...
    1 view0 comments
    The Talkies
    jdettmann
    • Nov 17, 2012
    • 2 min

    The Talkies

    This is not strictly relevant to the following post except that it sums up better than any other photo I have how today has made me feel....
    0 views0 comments
    It Doesn’t Touch The Mango
    jdettmann
    • Nov 14, 2012
    • 2 min

    It Doesn’t Touch The Mango

    Which of the two following stories is scarier? Thing 1. This week I saw a new physiotherapist. She told me I should wear what can only be...
    0 views0 comments
    Blog It Out
    jdettmann
    • Nov 12, 2012
    • 2 min

    Blog It Out

    May Blossom playing ‘Caesarean Sections’ with her play-doh. Earlier this evening I was in the bath, eating a piece of toast with peanut...
    1 view0 comments
    Grant Me The Serenity
    jdettmann
    • Oct 18, 2012
    • 3 min

    Grant Me The Serenity

    Lunch out with a tiny nun always helps. I haven’t been feeling very good lately. It’s nothing that the birth of NB won’t fix (or possibly...
    0 views0 comments
    Taxing
    jdettmann
    • Oct 2, 2012
    • 2 min

    Taxing

    There’s not a lot of coherent narrative flow going on in my life right now, and so, to reflect that, here are some random observations...
    1 view0 comments
    The Crying Game
    jdettmann
    • Aug 28, 2012
    • 4 min

    The Crying Game

    One of the many stunning gender-neutral outfits May Blossom will be handing down to her sibling. According to the medical establishment I...
    0 views0 comments
    1-2-3-4 Tell Me That You Love Me More
    jdettmann
    • Jul 3, 2012
    • 3 min

    1-2-3-4 Tell Me That You Love Me More

    This pregnancy I have been plagued with insomnia, which is not something I have ever experienced before. I was the kid who could fall...
    3 views0 comments
    Absence Makes The Weather Grow Colder.
    jdettmann
    • Jun 26, 2012
    • 2 min

    Absence Makes The Weather Grow Colder.

    Um, no. I haven’t got a good reason. I was just off, you know, living my life and trying to keep warm. Oh, and GROWING A HUMAN, too,...
    0 views0 comments
    Paint It Black
    jdettmann
    • Jun 15, 2012
    • 2 min

    Paint It Black

    A mother, on the other hand, in my humble experience of less than two years, is more like the shell of a person. The stretched out, faded...
    0 views0 comments
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