A Month
Garnet has one elf ear. The other is a human ear. We are unsure what, if anything, to make of this. Garnet’s 24 days old. It’s been a bit...
JESSICA DETTMANN
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jdettmann
- Dec 25, 2012
- 2 min
This Is Just To Say
Our little boy was born ten days ago. Sorry it’s taken me so long to put him down and write a post to announce it. But if you smelled his...
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jdettmann
- Dec 14, 2012
- 2 min
Keep Calm And Carry On Like A Pork Chop
May Blossom re-enacts what will happen if you don’t shut about about your birth plan while having coffee with friends. My friends Lou and...
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jdettmann
- Dec 9, 2012
- 2 min
We Sleep The Sleep Of The Furious
Whenever May Blossom wakes up these days, the first thing she says is, in a very irritated tone of voice: ‘I didn’t want to go to sleep.’...
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jdettmann
- Dec 4, 2012
- 1 min
You Give Me Fever
In the event of finding yourself over thirty-eight weeks pregnant and suffering from a virus that makes you burn with fever and shake...
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jdettmann
- Dec 1, 2012
- 2 min
Not What It Looks Like
Also not what it looks like: this image of May Blossom checking on her sibling in my tummy illustrates why late pregnancy, maxi-dresses...
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jdettmann
- Nov 29, 2012
- 2 min
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
An optimist is one who happily rides her friend’s bike with no pants on. I am a pessimist. I specialise in negative visualisation. Much...
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jdettmann
- Nov 28, 2012
- 3 min
My Patience Is The Only Thin Part Of Me
But, weirdly enough, it was one of the loveliest nights I can remember. Partly because nights in general, in my opinion, are for sleeping...
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jdettmann
- Nov 25, 2012
- 1 min
All That Glitters
It turned out that the sparkly dress I bought online and wore to the wedding yesterday was just a dress with glitter glued to it. Not...
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jdettmann
- Nov 23, 2012
- 3 min
Car Seat Shopping For The Hormonally Deranged
One of the many dangerous roads of the world that are all out to get my children, according to my pregnancy-addled brain. Have you ever...
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jdettmann
- Nov 19, 2012
- 2 min
If You Can’t Say Something Nice…
Today nearly slipped by without a blog. Today was hard. Physically I feel like crap right now and trying to be funny feels forced. So...
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jdettmann
- Nov 17, 2012
- 2 min
The Talkies
This is not strictly relevant to the following post except that it sums up better than any other photo I have how today has made me feel....
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jdettmann
- Nov 15, 2012
- 2 min
It Doesn’t Touch The Mango
Which of the two following stories is scarier? Thing 1. This week I saw a new physiotherapist. She told me I should wear what can only be...
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jdettmann
- Nov 12, 2012
- 2 min
Blog It Out
May Blossom playing ‘Caesarean Sections’ with her play-doh. Earlier this evening I was in the bath, eating a piece of toast with peanut...
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jdettmann
- Oct 18, 2012
- 3 min
Grant Me The Serenity
Lunch out with a tiny nun always helps. I haven’t been feeling very good lately. It’s nothing that the birth of NB won’t fix (or possibly...
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jdettmann
- Oct 2, 2012
- 2 min
Taxing
There’s not a lot of coherent narrative flow going on in my life right now, and so, to reflect that, here are some random observations...
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jdettmann
- Aug 28, 2012
- 4 min
The Crying Game
One of the many stunning gender-neutral outfits May Blossom will be handing down to her sibling. According to the medical establishment I...
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jdettmann
- Jul 3, 2012
- 3 min
1-2-3-4 Tell Me That You Love Me More
This pregnancy I have been plagued with insomnia, which is not something I have ever experienced before. I was the kid who could fall...
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jdettmann
- Jun 26, 2012
- 2 min
Absence Makes The Weather Grow Colder.
Um, no. I haven’t got a good reason. I was just off, you know, living my life and trying to keep warm. Oh, and GROWING A HUMAN, too,...
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jdettmann
- Jun 15, 2012
- 2 min
Paint It Black
A mother, on the other hand, in my humble experience of less than two years, is more like the shell of a person. The stretched out, faded...
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