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  • jdettmann

Blog It Out

May Blossom playing ‘Caesarean Sections’ with her play-doh.

Earlier this evening I was in the bath, eating a piece of toast with peanut butter and a melted Freddo frog on it. That is quite a snack, my friends, and it raises your blood sugar to the exact level that gives you crazy ideas.

My idea was this: Apparently there is a thing that exists in blogdom called NaBloPoMo, which stands for National Blog Post Month. As you might guess, it is a month in which bloggers who commit to NaBloPoMo write on their blogs every single day. This year, NaBloPoMo started on the first of November. Because I am slow and lumbering like a great big elephant, I only stumbled across this fact just now. Furthermore, I am led to believe my What To Expect When You Are Expecting iPhone app that November 1 is in the past. According to various sources, it is now November 12, so I’m declaring today the official beginning of my very own BloUntTheBabIsBo (Blog Until The Baby Is Born). Pretty catchy, if I do say so myself.

My intentions with BloUntTheBabIsBo are several. Firstly, I’d like to write more often, but I often can’t because I have a condition called Laziness. It’s not Gestational Laziness either, it’s the proper version that afflicts you forever. This will be part of my self-prescribed treatment. Another aim is to use the month of posts to do a spot of cybernesting. When you are pregnant, and particularly towards the end, your hormones go mental and start encouraging you to do foolish things like make your house all tidy and organized like you live in a Pinterest board. Between my extremely dicky pelvis and my demanding two-year-old, it’s all I can do to get through the day with myself and May Blossom fed, clothed and vaguely entertained, so putting my linen closet in alphabetical order and arranging my books by number of pages is probably not a sensible use of my limited energy. Tapping away for a few minutes on the keyboard, I think I can manage, so I plan to write myself a nest. I will write my cupboards tidy, my hair brushed, and my freezer capacious and filled with healthy meals. I believe this is what’s known as magical thinking.

I will blog something every day until this baby vacates the premises. I won’t always write much and it won’t always be good, but it will fill your inbox and waste your time good and proper.

How long can you expect this silliness to persist? Well, I am thirty-five and a bit weeks pregnant. Traditionally, babies are gestated for roughly forty weeks. Babies in my family, however, tend to stay right where they are until a man with a sharp knife goes in and gets them out a few weeks after they are due. So we’re looking at somewhere in the region of forty-two to forty-seven-ish days.

You can make requests, too. Let me know what you wonder – about anything, really – and I will make up some shit in response. It’s going to be ace.

This was Day 1 of my challenge. See you tomorrow!

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