Panic Stations
Like sorting Lego into colours, listing your worries makes you feel like you’re making progress. In both cases this is an illusion. I’m...
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JESSICA DETTMANN
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jdettmann
Jun 13, 20174 min read
Not What It Seems
‘What’s that window doing there?’ I asked. ‘It’s not really a window,’ the brickie told me. ‘It’s more of a vent.’ I said nothing. ‘So...
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jdettmann
May 3, 20173 min read
Stealth Health Ninja
It turns out this writing a book lark is harder than it looks and, like so many things in life, not made easier by having two small...
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jdettmann
Mar 7, 20173 min read
The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad
My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
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jdettmann
Feb 22, 20174 min read
Contact High
That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
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jdettmann
Oct 25, 20164 min read
The Man Who Had No Birthdays
Someone’s kid has an extendable arm that only comes out when there’s a chocolate fountain. Handy. May Blossom turned six on the weekend...
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jdettmann
Oct 10, 20163 min read
Pining For The Fjords
I’m doing that thing I always do when I come back from new and wonderful, and I try to transport the lifestyle. When H and I went to...
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jdettmann
Sep 8, 20163 min read
Psycho Killer: Qu’est-ce que c’est?
And well might you ask, Talking Heads, well might you ask. Is a psycho killer a killer of psychos, or a psycho who kills? It’s a crucial...
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jdettmann
Sep 1, 20162 min read
The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My Children
Festival of Dangerous Ideas kicks off. My parents are going to heaps of things at this festival, including Alexei Sayle’s talk ‘Thatcher...
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jdettmann
Aug 25, 20165 min read
Area of Particular Interest
That aside, we are really very extremely excited. We are going to Finland, Sweden and Denmark. The trip has come about because Jess is a...
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jdettmann
Aug 11, 20163 min read
Olympics Para Siempre
We are disgraceful: this was one of only two photos we have of anyone in this family doing anything even vaguely athletic, while also not...
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jdettmann
Jul 20, 20164 min read
In The End, It Was The Odd Socks That Finished Her Off
Garnet searching for his socks. We’ve been on a holiday. A driving holiday, and while I’ll try to write about that soon, and tell you all...
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jdettmann
Jun 29, 20163 min read
It Turns Out, You Can Go Home Again
Sample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...
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jdettmann
Jun 15, 20164 min read
Sticker Shock
Part of a Lego exhibition we saw on the weekend and in no way a freakishly accurate representation of our bedroom when it’s my morning to...
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jdettmann
Jun 3, 20163 min read
Who Will Rock Me?
We Will Rock You is a musical by Ben Elton, based on the songs of Queen. When arranging the tickets I made very sure Dad was aware that...
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jdettmann
Apr 27, 20165 min read
Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family
This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
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jdettmann
Mar 1, 20163 min read
Tropical with No Chance of Orang-utans
How I cope with this is to put aside what I should be doing (perhaps preparing my keynote speech for the International Conference on...
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jdettmann
Feb 15, 20163 min read
I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School
Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...
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jdettmann
Jan 11, 20164 min read
New Year’s Resolution: Face The Truth
I will face the truth about the Pilates DVDs. This is the year I will stop taking Pilates DVDs on holidays with me. I’ve been dragging...
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jdettmann
Nov 30, 20154 min read
A Realistic Advent Calendar
Tomorrow is the first of December, which means today is the perfect day for good parents to fire up Pinterest and check out some of the...
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