Jessica Dettmann

JESSICA DETTMANN

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    Billy, Don’t Be A Hero
    jdettmann
    • Oct 25, 2017
    • 4 min

    Billy, Don’t Be A Hero

    Seven year olds can make their own fairy bread. That’s dinner for the rest of the year sorted. I’m a long way through the writing of this...
    11 views0 comments
    There Will Be Books
    jdettmann
    • Aug 17, 2017
    • 3 min

    There Will Be Books

    Curious George is a movie that can penetrate even the most noise-cancelling of headphones. Writing a novel in the same room as a...
    11 views0 comments
    i carry your snot with me (i carry it in my bag)
    jdettmann
    • May 29, 2017
    • 1 min

    i carry your snot with me (i carry it in my bag)

    i carry your snot with me (i carry it in my bag) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my snotfaced dear; and whatever is blown...
    1 view0 comments
    Hashtag Mother’s Day
    jdettmann
    • May 15, 2017
    • 4 min

    Hashtag Mother’s Day

    Just before dawn yesterday I had one of those very special nightmares where you wake, unable to breathe from the horror, saying to...
    2 views0 comments
    Jackhammers, Interrupted
    jdettmann
    • Mar 29, 2017
    • 3 min

    Jackhammers, Interrupted

    I, sadly not a celestial being, had to remain here on the earth that quaked every day for eight or nine hours as the diggers ripped...
    0 views0 comments
    I Am A Lego Detective
    jdettmann
    • Mar 21, 2017
    • 3 min

    I Am A Lego Detective

    But I’m confused, because although I think that’s what I said, what he seems to have heard is, ‘I am a Lego Detective. I can find any...
    1 view0 comments
    The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad
    jdettmann
    • Mar 7, 2017
    • 3 min

    The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad

    My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
    3 views0 comments
    Contact High
    jdettmann
    • Feb 22, 2017
    • 4 min

    Contact High

    That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
    4 views0 comments
    TWELVE Days of Christmas? Not On My Watch
    jdettmann
    • Jan 12, 2017
    • 3 min

    TWELVE Days of Christmas? Not On My Watch

    Proper homemade gingerbread house that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Grandmothers are where it’s at. Good New Year to you, dear...
    0 views0 comments
    Pining For The Fjords
    jdettmann
    • Oct 10, 2016
    • 3 min

    Pining For The Fjords

    I’m doing that thing I always do when I come back from new and wonderful, and I try to transport the lifestyle. When H and I went to...
    3 views0 comments
    Psycho Killer: Qu’est-ce que c’est?
    jdettmann
    • Sep 8, 2016
    • 3 min

    Psycho Killer: Qu’est-ce que c’est?

    And well might you ask, Talking Heads, well might you ask. Is a psycho killer a killer of psychos, or a psycho who kills? It’s a crucial...
    2 views0 comments
    It Turns Out, You Can Go Home Again
    jdettmann
    • Jun 29, 2016
    • 3 min

    It Turns Out, You Can Go Home Again

    Sample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...
    1 view0 comments
    Sticker Shock
    jdettmann
    • Jun 15, 2016
    • 4 min

    Sticker Shock

    Part of a Lego exhibition we saw on the weekend and in no way a freakishly accurate representation of our bedroom when it’s my morning to...
    1 view0 comments
    Yellow But Not Yellow
    jdettmann
    • May 25, 2016
    • 3 min

    Yellow But Not Yellow

    Here’s how it goes: the kids catch a cold from school or kindy or licking a parking meter, they spend four or five days being snotty and...
    0 views0 comments
    The Joy of Sticks
    jdettmann
    • May 17, 2016
    • 4 min

    The Joy of Sticks

    From top: gun, sword, wand. AKA ‘kindling for Granddad’. I’ve never thought brandishing a stick was a good idea. We were always told by...
    1 view0 comments
    Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family
    jdettmann
    • Apr 27, 2016
    • 5 min

    Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family

    This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
    1 view0 comments
    The Longest Weekend
    jdettmann
    • Mar 29, 2016
    • 3 min

    The Longest Weekend

    Poor little kid. She and her brother are so prone to ear infections and croup. They just have tiny little respiratory tracts and...
    2 views0 comments
    A Hot Cross Son for Easter
    jdettmann
    • Mar 23, 2016
    • 3 min

    A Hot Cross Son for Easter

    This week he has been brought to howling tears by many and varied injustices. There was the fact that I would not go under the house to...
    0 views0 comments
    Testing Times
    jdettmann
    • Mar 16, 2016
    • 4 min

    Testing Times

    Occasionally he makes up a word (‘You nuckus!’) or just pops something that’s not an insult at all (‘You big sandwich!) None of it is...
    0 views0 comments
    I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School
    jdettmann
    • Feb 15, 2016
    • 3 min

    I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School

    Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...
    0 views0 comments
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