jdettmannOct 25, 20174 minBilly, Don’t Be A HeroSeven year olds can make their own fairy bread. That’s dinner for the rest of the year sorted. I’m a long way through the writing of this...
jdettmannAug 17, 20173 minThere Will Be BooksCurious George is a movie that can penetrate even the most noise-cancelling of headphones. Writing a novel in the same room as a...
jdettmannMay 29, 20171 mini carry your snot with me (i carry it in my bag)i carry your snot with me (i carry it in my bag) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my snotfaced dear; and whatever is blown...
jdettmannMay 15, 20174 minHashtag Mother’s DayJust before dawn yesterday I had one of those very special nightmares where you wake, unable to breathe from the horror, saying to...
jdettmannMar 29, 20173 minJackhammers, InterruptedI, sadly not a celestial being, had to remain here on the earth that quaked every day for eight or nine hours as the diggers ripped...
jdettmannMar 21, 20173 minI Am A Lego DetectiveBut I’m confused, because although I think that’s what I said, what he seems to have heard is, ‘I am a Lego Detective. I can find any...
jdettmannMar 7, 20173 minThe Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling MadMy children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
jdettmannFeb 22, 20174 minContact HighThat, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
jdettmannJan 12, 20173 minTWELVE Days of Christmas? Not On My WatchProper homemade gingerbread house that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Grandmothers are where it’s at. Good New Year to you, dear...
jdettmannOct 10, 20163 minPining For The FjordsI’m doing that thing I always do when I come back from new and wonderful, and I try to transport the lifestyle. When H and I went to...
jdettmannSep 8, 20163 minPsycho Killer: Qu’est-ce que c’est?And well might you ask, Talking Heads, well might you ask. Is a psycho killer a killer of psychos, or a psycho who kills? It’s a crucial...
jdettmannJun 29, 20163 minIt Turns Out, You Can Go Home AgainSample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...
jdettmannJun 15, 20164 minSticker ShockPart of a Lego exhibition we saw on the weekend and in no way a freakishly accurate representation of our bedroom when it’s my morning to...
jdettmannMay 25, 20163 minYellow But Not YellowHere’s how it goes: the kids catch a cold from school or kindy or licking a parking meter, they spend four or five days being snotty and...
jdettmannMay 17, 20164 minThe Joy of SticksFrom top: gun, sword, wand. AKA ‘kindling for Granddad’. I’ve never thought brandishing a stick was a good idea. We were always told by...
jdettmannApr 27, 20165 minNothing Is Fun For The Whole FamilyThis seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
jdettmannMar 29, 20163 minThe Longest WeekendPoor little kid. She and her brother are so prone to ear infections and croup. They just have tiny little respiratory tracts and...
jdettmannMar 23, 20163 minA Hot Cross Son for EasterThis week he has been brought to howling tears by many and varied injustices. There was the fact that I would not go under the house to...
jdettmannMar 16, 20164 minTesting TimesOccasionally he makes up a word (‘You nuckus!’) or just pops something that’s not an insult at all (‘You big sandwich!) None of it is...
jdettmannFeb 15, 20163 minI Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At SchoolGarnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...