Seven year olds can make their own fairy bread. That’s dinner for the rest of the year sorted. I’m a long way through the writing of this...

Curious George is a movie that can penetrate even the most noise-cancelling of headphones. Writing a novel in the same room as a...

i carry your snot with me (i carry it in my bag) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my snotfaced dear; and whatever is blown...

Just before dawn yesterday I had one of those very special nightmares where you wake, unable to breathe from the horror, saying to...

I, sadly not a celestial being, had to remain here on the earth that quaked every day for eight or nine hours as the diggers ripped...

But I’m confused, because although I think that’s what I said, what he seems to have heard is, ‘I am a Lego Detective. I can find any...

My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...

That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...

Proper homemade gingerbread house that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Grandmothers are where it’s at. Good New Year to you, dear...

I’m doing that thing I always do when I come back from new and wonderful, and I try to transport the lifestyle. When H and I went to...

And well might you ask, Talking Heads, well might you ask. Is a psycho killer a killer of psychos, or a psycho who kills? It’s a crucial...

Sample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...

Part of a Lego exhibition we saw on the weekend and in no way a freakishly accurate representation of our bedroom when it’s my morning to...

Here’s how it goes: the kids catch a cold from school or kindy or licking a parking meter, they spend four or five days being snotty and...

From top: gun, sword, wand. AKA ‘kindling for Granddad’. I’ve never thought brandishing a stick was a good idea. We were always told by...

This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...

Poor little kid. She and her brother are so prone to ear infections and croup. They just have tiny little respiratory tracts and...

This week he has been brought to howling tears by many and varied injustices. There was the fact that I would not go under the house to...

Occasionally he makes up a word (‘You nuckus!’) or just pops something that’s not an insult at all (‘You big sandwich!) None of it is...

Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...