Hashtag Mother’s Day
Just before dawn yesterday I had one of those very special nightmares where you wake, unable to breathe from the horror, saying to...
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JESSICA DETTMANN
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jdettmann
- Mar 29, 2017
- 3 min
Jackhammers, Interrupted
I, sadly not a celestial being, had to remain here on the earth that quaked every day for eight or nine hours as the diggers ripped...
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jdettmann
- Mar 21, 2017
- 3 min
I Am A Lego Detective
But I’m confused, because although I think that’s what I said, what he seems to have heard is, ‘I am a Lego Detective. I can find any...
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jdettmann
- Feb 14, 2017
- 3 min
Romance Club
In the past I have been very bad at giving Valentine’s Day gifts to H, which is a great shame because he is far more romantic than I am...
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jdettmann
- Jan 12, 2017
- 3 min
TWELVE Days of Christmas? Not On My Watch
Proper homemade gingerbread house that I had absolutely nothing to do with. Grandmothers are where it’s at. Good New Year to you, dear...
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jdettmann
- Dec 3, 2016
- 4 min
Yule Be Sorry
I don’t quite know what it is about December that makes me so down in the dumps every year, except oh yes, maybe I do. Maybe it’s the way...
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jdettmann
- Nov 18, 2016
- 4 min
Should It Stay Or Should It Go?
I need to cull our belongings. This is a truth universally known. But I am also a sentimentalist at heart. I know how you’re meant to get...
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jdettmann
- Nov 11, 2016
- 4 min
Things Are Gonna Slide, Slide In All Directions
Here instead is a list, which will show you how deeply embedded in my life is the music and lyrics of Leonard Cohen. Leonard Cohen Song...
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jdettmann
- Oct 10, 2016
- 3 min
Pining For The Fjords
I’m doing that thing I always do when I come back from new and wonderful, and I try to transport the lifestyle. When H and I went to...
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jdettmann
- Sep 8, 2016
- 3 min
Psycho Killer: Qu’est-ce que c’est?
And well might you ask, Talking Heads, well might you ask. Is a psycho killer a killer of psychos, or a psycho who kills? It’s a crucial...
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jdettmann
- Aug 11, 2016
- 3 min
Olympics Para Siempre
We are disgraceful: this was one of only two photos we have of anyone in this family doing anything even vaguely athletic, while also not...
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jdettmann
- Jul 20, 2016
- 4 min
In The End, It Was The Odd Socks That Finished Her Off
Garnet searching for his socks. We’ve been on a holiday. A driving holiday, and while I’ll try to write about that soon, and tell you all...
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jdettmann
- Jun 29, 2016
- 3 min
It Turns Out, You Can Go Home Again
Sample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...
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jdettmann
- May 25, 2016
- 3 min
Yellow But Not Yellow
Here’s how it goes: the kids catch a cold from school or kindy or licking a parking meter, they spend four or five days being snotty and...
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jdettmann
- Mar 29, 2016
- 3 min
The Longest Weekend
Poor little kid. She and her brother are so prone to ear infections and croup. They just have tiny little respiratory tracts and...
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jdettmann
- Mar 23, 2016
- 3 min
A Hot Cross Son for Easter
This week he has been brought to howling tears by many and varied injustices. There was the fact that I would not go under the house to...
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jdettmann
- Mar 16, 2016
- 4 min
Testing Times
Occasionally he makes up a word (‘You nuckus!’) or just pops something that’s not an insult at all (‘You big sandwich!) None of it is...
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jdettmann
- Mar 8, 2016
- 3 min
Good Spider, Bad Spider
Dumbledore (left) and Huntsman Who Did Not Heed Me (right) Sydney’s in the middle of a plague of spiders. Summer forgot to end and for...
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jdettmann
- Mar 1, 2016
- 3 min
Tropical with No Chance of Orang-utans
How I cope with this is to put aside what I should be doing (perhaps preparing my keynote speech for the International Conference on...
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jdettmann
- Feb 15, 2016
- 3 min
I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School
Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...
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