Jessica Dettmann

JESSICA DETTMANN

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    How to Make Terrible Gnocchi
    jdettmann
    • Apr 10, 2017
    • 3 min

    How to Make Terrible Gnocchi

    The pesto would have been better tossed with small snails than with the gnocchi I made. I know I have a tendency to toot my own horn on...
    8 views0 comments
    I Am A Lego Detective
    jdettmann
    • Mar 21, 2017
    • 3 min

    I Am A Lego Detective

    But I’m confused, because although I think that’s what I said, what he seems to have heard is, ‘I am a Lego Detective. I can find any...
    1 view0 comments
    The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad
    jdettmann
    • Mar 7, 2017
    • 3 min

    The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad

    My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
    3 views0 comments
    Contact High
    jdettmann
    • Feb 22, 2017
    • 4 min

    Contact High

    That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
    5 views0 comments
    The Man Who Had No Birthdays
    jdettmann
    • Oct 25, 2016
    • 4 min

    The Man Who Had No Birthdays

    Someone’s kid has an extendable arm that only comes out when there’s a chocolate fountain. Handy. May Blossom turned six on the weekend...
    1 view0 comments
    The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My Children
    jdettmann
    • Sep 1, 2016
    • 2 min

    The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My Children

    Festival of Dangerous Ideas kicks off. My parents are going to heaps of things at this festival, including Alexei Sayle’s talk ‘Thatcher...
    2 views0 comments
    Area of Particular Interest
    jdettmann
    • Aug 25, 2016
    • 5 min

    Area of Particular Interest

    That aside, we are really very extremely excited. We are going to Finland, Sweden and Denmark. The trip has come about because Jess is a...
    1 view0 comments
    Olympics Para Siempre
    jdettmann
    • Aug 11, 2016
    • 3 min

    Olympics Para Siempre

    We are disgraceful: this was one of only two photos we have of anyone in this family doing anything even vaguely athletic, while also not...
    0 views0 comments
    In The End, It Was The Odd Socks That Finished Her Off
    jdettmann
    • Jul 20, 2016
    • 4 min

    In The End, It Was The Odd Socks That Finished Her Off

    Garnet searching for his socks. We’ve been on a holiday. A driving holiday, and while I’ll try to write about that soon, and tell you all...
    0 views0 comments
    It Turns Out, You Can Go Home Again
    jdettmann
    • Jun 29, 2016
    • 3 min

    It Turns Out, You Can Go Home Again

    Sample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...
    1 view0 comments
    Songs by The Smiths or Things My Three Year Old Said Today?
    jdettmann
    • Jun 22, 2016
    • 1 min

    Songs by The Smiths or Things My Three Year Old Said Today?

    Portrait of Garnet by his sister or Smiths album cover? In lieu of a proper post, today I have a fun game for you, dear readers. It’s...
    0 views0 comments
    Sticker Shock
    jdettmann
    • Jun 15, 2016
    • 4 min

    Sticker Shock

    Part of a Lego exhibition we saw on the weekend and in no way a freakishly accurate representation of our bedroom when it’s my morning to...
    1 view0 comments
    The Joy of Sticks
    jdettmann
    • May 17, 2016
    • 4 min

    The Joy of Sticks

    From top: gun, sword, wand. AKA ‘kindling for Granddad’. I’ve never thought brandishing a stick was a good idea. We were always told by...
    1 view0 comments
    Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family
    jdettmann
    • Apr 27, 2016
    • 5 min

    Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family

    This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
    1 view0 comments
    A Hot Cross Son for Easter
    jdettmann
    • Mar 23, 2016
    • 3 min

    A Hot Cross Son for Easter

    This week he has been brought to howling tears by many and varied injustices. There was the fact that I would not go under the house to...
    0 views0 comments
    Testing Times
    jdettmann
    • Mar 16, 2016
    • 4 min

    Testing Times

    Occasionally he makes up a word (‘You nuckus!’) or just pops something that’s not an insult at all (‘You big sandwich!) None of it is...
    0 views0 comments
    I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School
    jdettmann
    • Feb 15, 2016
    • 3 min

    I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School

    Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...
    0 views0 comments
    Life’s A Treat
    jdettmann
    • Dec 20, 2015
    • 3 min

    Life’s A Treat

    Last week Garnet turned three. He’s not a hundred per cent ok with that. The boy has a complicated relationship with the ageing process....
    0 views0 comments
    Question Time
    jdettmann
    • Nov 2, 2015
    • 2 min

    Question Time

    One morning – bloody early one morning – he asked me the following questions in the space of half an hour, which is how long it takes to...
    0 views0 comments
    Lego, Lego, Can’t Hold It Back Any More
    jdettmann
    • Jun 4, 2015
    • 3 min

    Lego, Lego, Can’t Hold It Back Any More

    For about a year we have had, shoved into the cupboard in the playroom where no-one ever goes because it houses the vacuum cleaner, a...
    0 views0 comments
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