The pesto would have been better tossed with small snails than with the gnocchi I made. I know I have a tendency to toot my own horn on...

But I’m confused, because although I think that’s what I said, what he seems to have heard is, ‘I am a Lego Detective. I can find any...

My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...

That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...

Someone’s kid has an extendable arm that only comes out when there’s a chocolate fountain. Handy. May Blossom turned six on the weekend...

Festival of Dangerous Ideas kicks off. My parents are going to heaps of things at this festival, including Alexei Sayle’s talk ‘Thatcher...

That aside, we are really very extremely excited. We are going to Finland, Sweden and Denmark. The trip has come about because Jess is a...

We are disgraceful: this was one of only two photos we have of anyone in this family doing anything even vaguely athletic, while also not...

Garnet searching for his socks. We’ve been on a holiday. A driving holiday, and while I’ll try to write about that soon, and tell you all...

Sample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...

Portrait of Garnet by his sister or Smiths album cover? In lieu of a proper post, today I have a fun game for you, dear readers. It’s...

Part of a Lego exhibition we saw on the weekend and in no way a freakishly accurate representation of our bedroom when it’s my morning to...

From top: gun, sword, wand. AKA ‘kindling for Granddad’. I’ve never thought brandishing a stick was a good idea. We were always told by...

This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...

This week he has been brought to howling tears by many and varied injustices. There was the fact that I would not go under the house to...

Occasionally he makes up a word (‘You nuckus!’) or just pops something that’s not an insult at all (‘You big sandwich!) None of it is...

Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...

Last week Garnet turned three. He’s not a hundred per cent ok with that. The boy has a complicated relationship with the ageing process....

One morning – bloody early one morning – he asked me the following questions in the space of half an hour, which is how long it takes to...

For about a year we have had, shoved into the cupboard in the playroom where no-one ever goes because it houses the vacuum cleaner, a...