How to Make Terrible Gnocchi
The pesto would have been better tossed with small snails than with the gnocchi I made. I know I have a tendency to toot my own horn on...
JESSICA DETTMANN
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jdettmann
- Mar 21, 2017
- 3 min
I Am A Lego Detective
But I’m confused, because although I think that’s what I said, what he seems to have heard is, ‘I am a Lego Detective. I can find any...
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jdettmann
- Mar 7, 2017
- 3 min
The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad
My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
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jdettmann
- Feb 22, 2017
- 4 min
Contact High
That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
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jdettmann
- Oct 25, 2016
- 4 min
The Man Who Had No Birthdays
Someone’s kid has an extendable arm that only comes out when there’s a chocolate fountain. Handy. May Blossom turned six on the weekend...
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jdettmann
- Sep 1, 2016
- 2 min
The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My Children
Festival of Dangerous Ideas kicks off. My parents are going to heaps of things at this festival, including Alexei Sayle’s talk ‘Thatcher...
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jdettmann
- Aug 25, 2016
- 5 min
Area of Particular Interest
That aside, we are really very extremely excited. We are going to Finland, Sweden and Denmark. The trip has come about because Jess is a...
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jdettmann
- Aug 11, 2016
- 3 min
Olympics Para Siempre
We are disgraceful: this was one of only two photos we have of anyone in this family doing anything even vaguely athletic, while also not...
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jdettmann
- Jul 20, 2016
- 4 min
In The End, It Was The Odd Socks That Finished Her Off
Garnet searching for his socks. We’ve been on a holiday. A driving holiday, and while I’ll try to write about that soon, and tell you all...
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jdettmann
- Jun 29, 2016
- 3 min
It Turns Out, You Can Go Home Again
Sample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...
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jdettmann
- Jun 22, 2016
- 1 min
Songs by The Smiths or Things My Three Year Old Said Today?
Portrait of Garnet by his sister or Smiths album cover? In lieu of a proper post, today I have a fun game for you, dear readers. It’s...
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jdettmann
- Jun 15, 2016
- 4 min
Sticker Shock
Part of a Lego exhibition we saw on the weekend and in no way a freakishly accurate representation of our bedroom when it’s my morning to...
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jdettmann
- May 17, 2016
- 4 min
The Joy of Sticks
From top: gun, sword, wand. AKA ‘kindling for Granddad’. I’ve never thought brandishing a stick was a good idea. We were always told by...
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jdettmann
- Apr 27, 2016
- 5 min
Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family
This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
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jdettmann
- Mar 23, 2016
- 3 min
A Hot Cross Son for Easter
This week he has been brought to howling tears by many and varied injustices. There was the fact that I would not go under the house to...
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jdettmann
- Mar 16, 2016
- 4 min
Testing Times
Occasionally he makes up a word (‘You nuckus!’) or just pops something that’s not an insult at all (‘You big sandwich!) None of it is...
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jdettmann
- Feb 15, 2016
- 3 min
I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School
Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...
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jdettmann
- Dec 21, 2015
- 3 min
Life’s A Treat
Last week Garnet turned three. He’s not a hundred per cent ok with that. The boy has a complicated relationship with the ageing process....
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jdettmann
- Nov 2, 2015
- 2 min
Question Time
One morning – bloody early one morning – he asked me the following questions in the space of half an hour, which is how long it takes to...
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jdettmann
- Jun 4, 2015
- 3 min
Lego, Lego, Can’t Hold It Back Any More
For about a year we have had, shoved into the cupboard in the playroom where no-one ever goes because it houses the vacuum cleaner, a...
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